The Push: Beyond Comparison


“I am me, but I must push past my borders if I am ever to know you.” -Touch

The “special” in special needs, I ponder this.  Not everyone has this label.  Truly a friend’s exterior may look easier, but you never know what suffering lies below.

What of the “special” for someone grieving, someone dealing with depression, divorce, solace, fear.  Heartbreak has many names.

I truly think it’s a favorite lie – that we are on our own – that no one else knows our pain.   While there is some truth there, perhaps the more important one is this – we know so little of each other’s pain.  

I’ve done the quick comparisons.  At a glance  –“Well, they have x, y, and z and I don’t.   They can’t possibly understand.

What I’ve failed to see in those moments, is that they lack a, b, and c, which I happen to have.  While our negatives may not have the same look, we both share the loss – the subtraction.

…and no matter where they are, subtractions are hard.  Everyone has loss.

So the next time your tempted to compare someone’s wealth or their children’s behavior, or their spouse, or their special needs – stop.  It’s truly a bad use of your time.

We all have our own cups.

Comparison builds an ugly wall of isolation that makes a prisoner of the builder.

Casting our cares upon Him, seeing His all-sufficient grace to supply all our needs, letting him mend the cracks and chips and fill, letting him fill us to overflowing, having it spill over into other lives – this is where the subtraction fades, ugly walls crumble, and we all take on the label “special.”

And what I said before about no one knowing…you know that’s not true for the friend that sticks closer than a brother.  Our Savior with is his long-suffering love for us, He knows it all.  That “man of grief, acquainted with sorrows” – He can bare it all.

Blessings to you friends!

From the smallest amoeba to the grandest of galaxies, we define ourselves by our borders, our boundaries. I am me, therefore I am not you. We are safe within our territory, but borders can be places of instability, of danger. Cold fronts collide with wars. Dynamic energy explodes. And yet it’s at the edges, the frontiers between us, where ideas are exchanged, where knowledge is gained. I am me, but I must push past my borders, if I am ever to truly know you.

We cross borders, explore new frontiers. Frontiers of the heart, frontiers of the soul. And if we’re lucky, we come home again, having learned great lessons about our shared destiny. For the purpose of our travels, both the inward and outward, is not merely to see the unseen, but to bring those visions home… to share with those we love.

– Jake Bohm on Touch season 2 episode 3, Enemy of My Enemy

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. – I Peter 5:6-7

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