The girls begged me to let them stay home to celebrate their brother’s birthday. I felt so wiped out. I knew I would be shooting myself in the foot to give in. I could not give in, no matter how they begged.
You see, I’ve finally found a medicine that helps with my neck spasms but it also makes me incredibly tired….so I knew they wouldn’t be missing much..unless watching mom take a dozen mini naps and turn into an monster when they needed me would be “fun.”
So the no nursing/help situation plus a week of quarantine to prevent infection makes for a very slow and unexciting mama nurse…especially on what feels like a big birthday.
Not to say that Blue didn’t have fun enjoying some birthday gift movies etc, it’s just that my mama guilt was raging even subconsciously as I slept on the couch beside Blue.
And FYI this is also during the time our neighbor was mowing our yard. (And I haven’t even told you about the food and snacks and hugs and love from so many corners over this time.) #notallbad #blessed.
But right at the time I was getting that gift outside my home, I was melting down a bit inside. I messaged a friend just being brutally honest about the tough time I was having. Right there on voxer, she began to pray for me and as she prayed I got a text.
The text was from a nursing student that I had forgotten about verifying that I needed her to come over in an hour. YES! Yes please!!!
So despite the fact the birthday boy was running at about 40 to 60% (he still gets tired easily from last weeks surgeries) and his sisters were super needy – we were able to get through target (have an amusing happy birthday FaceTime w the grandparents while still IN target with hands on all items in the party aisle) and get him a few gifts, and specifically selected graduation and job well done cards. Then specially requested dinner at sonic and we made it home in time to clean his incisions and celebrate before he passed out!!
And my goodness, it was so awesome to have nursing skills in our home!
So funny how your day can feel like utter crap and failure and end with the essence of celebration you long for – to have for that incredible gift of a child God has entrusted you with!!!
Blue, i am so very thankful for your life and the way that you use that winsome smile to bring light and joy to so many precious people in our life!!! You are something else, boy!!!
The next surgery is Thursday. Pain management will be our primary concern along with safety and avoidance of infection.
And God please send us some awesome skilled help! (We will start interviewing next week.)