10: In the Ordinary
I’ve had kids for 8 years, kids in school for 5.
Somehow, today was my first day to be a “field trip mom” w/o siblings in tow.
There hasn’t been a lot of “Ordinary” in our life, and
there has been a certain rawness in its absence,
in the picket fences falling.
Sometimes, you just stare at those fallen expectations too long.
The flowers fade out of sight.
I barely pulled it off. Signed up less than 24 hours before. Thought about chickening out. Brought my daughter to school an hour late, 15 minutes before go time.
And truly, I could have done this field trip thing earlier, but by the time I had B in school I was nursing a babe, and by the time M was in school, I was home w/ another babe. And truth is…I’m zealous about my me-time…the break time. I’ve never wanted to spare a second. Each seemed essential to hacking away at the paperwork piled high in laundry baskets and dishes cultivating new strains of bacteria, and the phone that would ring off the hook.
Although there’s not been much in the way of me-time this week either, I bit the bullet and finally went…
and it was BEAUTIFUL!
It was just a trip to the park, and it was chilly and wet…but for the first time I got to hang out.
to chat with other moms,
to actually meet moms that I see every day at school,
to NOT feel guilty that I wasn’t pushing a wheelchair or tucking my “different” up my sleeve.
(These other mom’s all know that we have some “different” in our lives, and it’s all fine.)
As my kids have started in school, I really didn’t know how to adjust, or how to make it all work…And the reality is, it doesn’t always all work – library books, homework, permission slips – they. get. missed.
Somehow I’d never fathomed the idea that I would get to this place, where I could pile 5 kids in our gigantic accessible van and kick back and enjoy some time at the park.
I sometimes forget:
it really is possible for things to get better, more savory.
As time passes, and we all get more comfortable in our own shoes
…and this is a beauty, in the rearranged. These are the flowers that I see now.
Praise God, from whom all blessings flow!
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