I heard his shoes squeaking on the floor and knew something was up.  Formula all down pants.  Sticky socks.  Drenched shoes. Puddle on the floor.  Feet shuffling in sticky mess.  He didn’t have voice to tell me.

It was a simple disconnect – the feeding pump.  Somewhere the tubing had unhooked from the g-tube on his belly.  Happens all the time.

But this day – it knocked me low.

I was the sticky mess on the floor.

{But hang in there.  It didn’t last long…at all.  One minute?}

And me, silly girl full of TMI, I reached out.  In a special needs group I posted a picture of the floor, his shoes.

I craved solidarity in that moment of complete disconnect.

Sometimes the cuts are all you can see.

But before I was finished with the first picture, a new one was in the making, it’s caption: “all is well.”

I looked up, and there my boy was:

All smiles.  Beautiful.  Perfect.  Joy.

How had I forgotten?

I’m never alone…and even better than that, I’m blessed.

The light in this boy brings me to my feet – to the reality that not only is my boy always with me, but the Father of Lights is with me right there on the floor too.

And yes, there are the hard-knocks…but they are always only a piece of the story.  Blessings abound.  The beautiful new dog.  The friend that calls right at that moment when I need a pick-me-up.  The kids that snuggle close.  Getting to have dinner as a family.  Running into friends.  The porch date complete with a pirate hat and laughter.  These blessings stack up by the thousands daily – even when there is sticky mess.

Oh, soul!  Cast your cares upon Him and LOOK UPWARD!  Spread your canopy high!  Bask in the light!  Don’t you dare wallow in the sticky mess!

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.  – James 1:17

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. – 1 Peter 5:6-7