Am I Slow Enough?
It’s the question I keep hearing/asking myself. It comes at me when I’m on my phone, when I’m cuddling with my youngest on the couch (and also on the phone), when I’m going to bed…and window shopping on my phone – I hear it. I hear it in that catching moment – in that split second where I experience something good or different and have the overwhelming desire – the desire to share. When my fingers run to share my world through the world. wide. web.
Am I slow enough?
I’m not sure. Slow? Slow enough to be present? Slow enough to experience joy with my family? Am I slow enough to share a moment with my actual voice?
It’s the topic of our time. It’s an enormous challenge for our kids. The glare of perfection. The collaborative sharing of our best moments makes for something harsh, somehow. It’s burning so many of us.
My friend is working diligently on the “Wait Until 8th” / “Wait a bit” movement here in Kansas City – helping kids be slow enough – slow enough to enjoy their lives in real time. Slow enough for us to enjoy our lives in real time. As I’ve been watching her work and struggle to balance it all in her own little family, it inspires me to ask the hard questions of myself – what am I modeling for my kids? Do I want them to be as busy on their phones as I am?
What if. What if we all could all extract ourselves for our alternate realities for a day? No facebook for a day? Uninstall the app/apps for a day? What if there were crickets on all social media platforms, just for a day. It makes me laugh out loud. Facebook a ghost town?! Impossible. And hey, a gimmicky name isn’t enough, right? Hash tags. #handsfree2 #handsfreetue #slowtoo #slowtue? More to the point – I CAN do this. We can. Right?
I’m not sure if I’ll ever completely part with social media. It’s a LIFELINE for our family, for my son’s rare condition. Facebook groups have helped us in thousands of ways – in navigating therapies, surgeries, meds, finding resources. With our friends’ help we’ve been creating a way for our son where there is no way – no treatment plan, no cure. Through our kernicterus group we’ve been empowered with loads of information that is available no where else on the planet.
Social media is by no means the root of all evil for us…but it is a new and unpaved road. We all move so fast and often upon it that it has deep ruts, ruts deep enough to tip us over. And I have fallen, so many times, many. When I run in the deep paths of the wagon wheels in front of me, I just can’t get out. I have to find a way to move alongside the ruts but not in them – to be slow enough. I must consciously choose to use social media, but not let it use me. I no longer want to not run in the racing rutted path – one vehicle racing ahead and a thousand other perfect images right on my tail – all. the. time.
So for now it’s just the questions:
Am I slow enough?
How can I run outside the ruts?
Can I hack a Hands Free Tuesday?