I’ve never done a 5-minute-friday, but this word, I couldn’t scroll beyond it. Not tonight.
Who knows what will fly from my fingers tonight, but I must comment…without filter. Ready?
I sit in a hotel room. You heard me right – mommy time!
We’ve successfully traversed a month without daddy and now influenza has taken residence in the house again (adding up our A’s and B’s this year). But the thing that was really wearing me thin is my new-found 3-year-old-roomie. She slips in past midnight every night. I’ve been tired…so many different kinds of tired. I’ve had years of being up every 2 hours or so with a poor boy that’s body will not stop moving long enough to rest for more than 2 minutes at a time. And this tired should be a piece of cake – but it’s not. I’m aging in dog years, I’m pretty sure of it.
It does occur to me though – These days are so fleeting. How much will I miss that wispy little hair, the sound of her sucking her fingers in her sleep, the mommy-dependance – it’s all fleeting, right?
But for tonight, one night, I get no roommates and a huge bonus of sleep!! This night of rest, it is something heavenly – something I’ve dreamed of for years…and somehow when expectations are stripped away, it has an even sweeter aroma.
In my home, Lord help me to hold tight to these moments, to live in the day, in the minute. Not to gripe about my exhaustion – but to have these tired eyes wide open to blessing after blessing. There will be tears, but there will also be the day when they are all wiped away!
For this beautiful night of sleep – thank you, hubbs!!! For the rest that comes in looking back – – thank you Jesus!
The body grows old and worn with trials heaped upon each other, but my soul? I feel it growing younger. (I say this and tomorrow I will find an ugly age spot in my soul…I grow so disproportionately!) Each unexpected trial, each twist that brings me to another impossible trail – each one tempts me to tears – always. But when the day’s journey is complete, I get to look back and see that somehow, one step at a time, I made it through (and not of my own strength). This “Ebeneezer,” this testimony, strips away some old rustiness within me, bit by bit to show these tiny glimmers of faith.
Don’t get me wrong, I take more steps backward than forward. My default posture is to whine and groan against anything that’s not in MY plan. But in the sparse moments where I do have proper focus, I see something that fills me with hope and rest all at once. In seeing how much HE has provided beyond my ability, I find more rest every day to grow young in my soul.
and the 5-minute thing….I can’t claim that…certainly not when I have a quiet room all to myself! 🙂 Maybe next time. It was my first go…so you can let it slide, right?
May each trial strip years from your soul and bring you closer to rest…rest in HIS capable arms.